We all know that feeling, vending machine
#i am also full of snacks and darkness
For a long confused moment I thought I had stumbled upon vending machine shaming.
can we just take a moment to imagine little cute nine-year-old hermione reading matilda
and peering into this book about a smart, bookish girl who could move things with her mind
and then can you imagine her concentrating very hard on the books on the bookshelf and slowly, slowly, getting them to move
Sometimes I get huffy about tumblr but then I see that 260,000 people got the same kind of chills I did reading this…
Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century:
Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others;
Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected;
Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it;
Refusing to set aside trivial preferences;
Neglecting development and refinement of the mind;
Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do. — Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC (via lazyyogi)
Anonymous said: Dear Dr. Lazarin - Human here. Found myself pining pretty fiercely for this precious aurin lady, but I'm not entirely sure our species are as compatible as I've heard. For one, she's a deal more feisty than I'm used to seein' in their kind, and I worry it's just me. For two, she might actually be too adorable. Her little bat-ears wobble when she runs and she fills up a swear-jar for usin' words like 'frick'. How do I tell her I'm into her? Without... the whole crew knowin'. - Troubled in Thayd
My dear Troubled,
Even I, one unable to feel pleasure of any kind, am far from immune to the charms of a female able to locate and gather rare herbs. Such items are vital for concocting the soporifics required to temporarily silence the accusing moans of “Planet Slayer” that haunt my nights. Some also make splendid garnishes.
But returning to bat-ears for a moment. It is unfortunate that your comrades would find such cause for stigmatization. But any who would judge worth by ears alone rather than the shape of the entire skull is not a friend looking out for your benefit. And a friend without benefit benefits no one.
May your days and nights be more endurable than mine. But of course, how could they be otherwise?
Keep those cards and letters coming!
They’re pretty much gods who are also ex-boyfriends that control metal and brains — Magneto builds a special helmet just to keep Xavier from knowing what his feelings are; HE BUILDS A BRAIN CAGE SO HIS EX-BOYFRIEND WON’T KNOW HOW SAD HE IS. That is the demigod-level mutant equivalent of setting your gchat status to invisible so your ex-boyfriend can’t tell that you’re online. That is so campy Susan Sontag just sat up in her grave and texted John Waters “omg did u hear about Magneto?!!!”
JOHN WATERS DID HEAR ABOUT IT. AND IT RULED. —
Mallory Ortburg- My Stupid X-Men Opinions (via runeybadger)
OH MY GOD
(Source: runetangclan, via wilwheaton)
I want a Star Trek series that’s about the worst ship in the fleet, the type of people Starfleet can’t quite fire but can try their damndest to make go as far away as possible. Drunk captain. Low achieving lieutenants. First mate who’s just a little felonious. I want to see what kind of missions they’re given.
#Firefly. You are thinking of Firefly.
The crew in Firefly was competent. You are really thinking Hyperdrive.
Or Irresponsible Captain Tylor.